0345am

I woke at 3.45 this morning and the curtains above my bed were light. Now that's early, in Shetland, in style!!!

ShetlandSun weather and sunrise/sunset

Tomorrow is Monday

It’s the middle of the day now. It’s been like this since kick-off this morning, bland, no wind either. The sun can’t see through the light cloud so it’s even more boring outside than in.

I think that I’ll probably remain here, sat on my backside all afternoon, getting up for the odd cup of coffee in case I die of thirst.

I suppose that Shetland is just like the rest of the world when you see it this way. Of course, it might well brighten up tomorrow. There’ll be a bit of a breeze, the sun will be beating down, prices will have trebled and your computer will be knackered.

Just the day to go out and cut the - apart from the fact that you lent the lawnmower to your neighbour a fortnight ago, a week before he moved house, taking your lawnmower with him.

Oh well, tomorrow is Monday, just perfect to break your heart on the gaffers shoulder. That is, if he doesn’t burst into tears first because the wife left him on Saturday. Nothing to do with the wife leaving but she took the car with her.

Oh no. Here comes the neighbour with the lawnmower :(

Feeding the birds

The bird-feeder was empty so, obviously, the birds weren’t spending too much time in my back garden. I can’t say that I blame them for that but I do like to see them so I decided to deal with the problem.

I went into the shed and there it was, the food for all the birds. I decided to take it round to the back garden and fill the feeder there so around to it I went with the feed.

When I got there I laid the big bag of bird-food down and turned around to get the feeder to fill it up.

 Guess what happened when my back was turned?

Yes, you’re right, the big bag fell over and the feed inside poured out, lots and lots of it, bird feed so not that easy to get back into the bag, especially when the grass hasn’t been cut for a while.

I did my best though and filled the feeder too. After all, that was the job that I was there for.

But the amount of food for the birds that has been left on the lawn is working well, the birds love it.

They go nowhere near where I intended though:))

The Olympic Wanderers

Looking out of the window here, I think that I have to accept that I was wrong. I think that the weather is going to allow the Olympic Wanderers to make it to Shetland by plane after all because it's only a breeze outside just now.

It may not last, of course, but you have to look on the good side, regardless of what you know fine well will be happening. As long as it happens to them and not to the locals, I suppose that it will be alright though.

Very much doubt it will happen to them though. Oh no, they'll run too fast and call it training for the Olympics.

But both you and I would know better, eh ;))

Those woolly young girls

I was just thinking to myself, maybe I should be getting myself a bit fitter so that I can con my way by as an Olympic whatsit. Then I could chat up one or two of these woolly young girls and have a good time to remember.

But then I thought to myself, "No, that would be a right waste of time. There's a field full of sheep just outside the house!!!"

That could have been a lot of work just wasted. Think that I'll cut the grass and ask them if they would like to go out for a meal tonight.

Will I get lucky?

I'll keep you posted!!!

The Olympic torch vs The Shetland prostitute

Believe it or not, I’ve just found out that the Olympic Torch is here in Shetland on Sunday. I don’t know how it’s getting here, it’ll be either by airoplane or, if the weather is poorly, it’ll come by rowing boat. The last stage will be from the Fair Isle so it’s not too much of a paddle if the wind is in the right direction. If they get here in time then the fun can start immediately and there’s plenty of it to be had, or so I understand.

No doubt there will be at least a couple of flocks there and ready for action but I don’t think that there will be anywhere as many as that on a rowing boat so there will certainly be more than enough to go around.

I’ve just had a last thought. By the time they jump back into the boat to paddle off to their next destination they’ll be well knackered!!!

I hope it's a nice, warm, sunny day and that everyone enjoys themselves and that the sheep have been shorn recently.

Prostitutes passing through Shetland for the Olympics

I’ve just been reading an article on the BBC showing concern about the Olympics and prostitution, namely, will London 2012 up the number of prostitutes that are active in London at the time. I immediately thought to myself “What about here in Shetland, they could well sneak into the country on fishing boats. They may well swim ashore outside my house and knock on my door, asking if they could wash their clothes and you know how they would look to pay for the favour!!!”

Obviously, I’ll have to take care. Possibly keep the curtains closed so that they think that I’m in bed, asleep. Then again, they might think that I’m in bed, working. Awe Jings, I can’t have them thinking that, now can I?!?

Then, of course, I could pretend to be the gardener but they might land in the middle of the night. I’d have to tell them that I was after the overtime but then they’ed think that I could afford them, so that’s not a good idea, either.
 
Perhaps I should paint the window glass but then, oh goodness, then they’ll just break in and it’ll be me that has to phone the council and try to explain why my “female friends” have broken the glass.

I’ll have to think of a reason to give them about why I painted the glass because them being what they are will think that it was so that I could do as I liked without them or the neighbours being able to take snap-shots in the windows. No, they’d think that I’d take the photo’s myself and charge a good price for them.

Oh no, this is getting worse. I think that I’ll have a strong cup of tea. That's maybe their mother and their aunt in the photo.